More Equilibrium...My New Astronaut Idol

February 9, 2007

  SEATTLE- Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson were both nominated for Oscars last week for their roles in 'Dreamgirls'

Hooray for black people.

And for that...we must have Equilibrium. For this week's Equilibrium we turn to the TV Show 'Cheaters'.  I originally blogged about this clip over a year ago but for some reason I found myself laughing today at the antics of Johnny Burkhalter after he was caught by his wife at a bowling alley with another woman.

     

CLICK HERE FOR CHEATERS VIDEO CLIP

Hurry up and try to watch this video this week before the corporate turds at Youtube.com pull the video for copyright reasons much like they did my BET & Letterman clips in the past month.

In the video, Burkhalter tries to hide from his wife in a men's restroom. She FOLLOWS HIM IN and slaps him around a little.  He then tries to flee through the parking lot but "Big Shirley" was right there with him stride for stride. I tried to time how fast she was running, looks like she runs a good 4.7 second 40-yard dash.  what I admire is this Woman's ability to run full stride after her husband and still continue to yell at him without losing her breath.

    

More hilarious than the clip itself to me is the HILARIOUS way in which Mr. Johnny Burkhalter butchers the English language. My Spanish speaking maintenance man would be happy to know that there are people born in American that still can't speak the language. Here's a few "Johnny's Jems" from this clip.

I put the time code beside the quotes so you'll know where in the clip to find them. If you don't listen closely then you'll miss them.

00:29-   "We was at the bowling."

00:53- "I got up and I randed in the Mens restroom" (* Not ran, randed*)

01:56- "I told her, I likded her. She likeded Me"

02:03- "We got to drinking all sorts of brews, burrrs (beer) and wines"

03:27-   "I went back and talked to Connie and we talked for a day and a half...and we had sex."

On a side note, either this woman is so desperate for a man that she'll put up with anything....OR...This dude is laying some SERIOUS PIPE!. only good really really good dick makes a woman chase a man through a parking lot. A desperate woman would probably just sit in a corner and cry about it and still take him back. Or even worse, allow the infidelity to continue without speaking on it.

Women desperate to have a man in their life generally aren't very dramatic. They're too scared to make a scene because then they might loose the guy.  I think this Cheaters clip is a prime example of how good sex can drive a woman crazy.

Image:  Lisa Nowak and William Oefelein Case in point, this Astronaut chick that got arrested this week.

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You HAVE to read this story when you get a chance if you don't know all the details.

Cliff Notes Summary...
   The above woman on the left is Captain. Lisa Nowak. She's banging the dude on the right. They're both astronauts. The dude on the right is also banging some random chick on the side. Lisa finds out about this and drives from Houston to Orlando to meet the other chick at the airport and beat her ass, pepper spray her, and kidnap her in order to "talk to her" about her interactions with her man.

Among the items found in Lisa's possession when arrested were...

a half-dozen latex gloves, a wig, a gas powered BB Gun, a steel mallet, a knife with a 4-inch blade, Pepper spray, and garbage bags.

Lisa told police that "She just wanted to talk to the lady."  LOL

Police also found diapers in her car. Yes. Adult Diapers. I'm not making this up, please go read the story. Lisa wore diapers while on the 13-hour drive from Houston to Orlando so that she could eliminate Highway stops.

HILARIOUS !!
I don't know this dude is but you can't tell me that he's not laying some serious pipe to this woman. This woman is far from desperate to keep a man.

Desperation doesn't drive a woman to drive 13 hours to pepper spray another chick.

Good dick does.

 Only good dick, could make a woman get in a car, drive 13 hours to fight a chick, and be in such a rush to get there that she's willing to shit her pants the ENTIRE TRIP to get to Orlando faster.

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Forget the fact that she'd have to stop for gas ANYWAY on the trip but I guess she didn't have anytime to spare. Look at her mug shot. You Telling me that desperation turned the woman on the left into the woman on the right?

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Desperation didn't do that to this woman's face my friend...good dick did.

Poor Lisa, couldn't bare the thought of sharing her man with another woman. She finally found a man that could make her orgasm all night long without running out of energy himself. His oral sex game is on point and on top of all of that he LIKES to cuddle with you afterwards. Every woman's dream right?

  None the less if I'm the dude in all of this I'd be feeling pretty good. Sucks to know that two women are fighting over you but part of you has to kind of smile when the police tell you that she drove all the way from Houston wearing a shitty diaper to defend her right to your crotch.

I thought I was doing good back when I dated a girl who threw stuff at me once during an argument. At first I was pissed, but I later took it as a compliment / testament to just how strongly she felt about us.  (* crazy huh?*). Throwing stuff isn't a proper expression of feelings I know that, but if nothing else it's proof that the feelings exist in that person's heart right?

Any man can say stuff to provoke her in into throwing stuff at him or chasing him through a bowling alley parking lot. This man however, should be invited to a 'Player's Ball'.

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Astronaut Bill Oefelein, An Apollo legend.

Wood, Jr.