WHAT I LEARNED OVER THE HOLIDAY'S

DECEMBER 29, 2006

 Not really sure what to make of the Holiday’s this year. I’ve been up, I’ve been down, I’ve been back up, and back down again. I guess exhausted would be the best word to describe the past few weeks. But alas, pain and suffering is only pointless if you learn nothing from it. Here’s some things I’ve learned over the Holidays
1.  The Cheesecake Factory has the nastiest Meatloaf on earth. PERIOD.  I’ve had better Meatloaf from middle school teacher.

2.   My new drink for 2007 will be the Tom Collins. (Gin, Soda Water, & Tom Collins Mix / Sour Mix)   *I add a little pineapple juice*   The Crown and Coke will not have its contract renewed with Team Wood and will be placed on waivers. Any and all teams are free to negotiate with Crown and Coke’s agent for the 2007 drinking year.

 

3.  You never realize how much stuff you have until you prepare to move. You think you have enough boxes but truthfully, you never have enough boxes.

 

4.   A woman can buy you gifts, buy you cards, write you a poem, but the ultimate show of love from any woman to her man is when she throws things at you during an argument.

I learned this from watching my two cousins argue this past week. If a woman throws things at you its because she loves you and is just frustrated beyond words. I base this theory simply on what they throw. A shoe, a water bottle or a clothes hanger isn’t going to hurt you, That’s love.    Now a glass bottle, a lamp, or um…bullets, that’s not love. That heffa’s crazy.

 

5.   If you leave Cheesecake Factory meatloaf in your car over night…your car will smell like Cheesecake Factory meatloaf for 2 days. 

 
6.  If someone can’t see themselves living with all of your pros AND all of your cons then you probably shouldn’t be with that person. We all hope to grow with someone but the rough draft of that person has to be enough for you. This way if they never change, then at least you’re happy with the rough draft. If you’re with someone and you find that some of their negatives are things you can't deal with forever, then you should be friends.

Friends forever? Friends until one of you grows into what will make the two of your more compatible? I don’t know. But in the meantime you can't be a couple. No matter how much you love them, no matter how much they mean to you, you have to be friends. No matter how much it leaves you in pain.  
7.  You probably shouldn't break up with someone on Christmas Day. wait until the 26th so that the day is less memorable. Who wants to relive the pain of a break-up every Christmas?

But Dec. 25th already held a special place in my heart considering that last year I got a Death Threat on Christmas Day. (* DID YOU MISS THAT BLOG LAST YEAR? CLICK HERE*)

 

8.  Purchasing a $600 Video game system at an after Christmas Sale doesn’t help the pain go away.

 

 9.  Purchasing $200 in games and accessories to go with it doesn’t help either.
10.  Attempting to sell said video game system for $1000 on Ebay only to discover that other auctions of the same system are as low as $400 doesn’t help either.

11.  Realizing that you’re probably stuck with a $800 Video game System that you’ll never have time to play is almost as much pain as a break up

12.  I think President Gerald Ford committed suicide to deliberately make his death overshadow that of James Brown. The same way the Crocodile Hunter Killed himself shortly after the death of Coretta Scott King, and then Don Knotts died shortly after Kirby Puckett.

   

13. I’m done eating at the Waffle House in 2007. it’s not some kind of protest but I figure if I’m supposed to be lowering my cholesterol I need to get certain places out of my diet.

14. If you’re hungry at 3 in the morning and there’s nothing to eat but Cheesecake Factory meatloaf…it’s not that bad.
 

I’m sure I learned more than that but that’s all I can remember for now.

 Wood, Jr.