Some call it a blog, that's fine by me. The restriction of opinions on morning radio have banished me to my own website to give you my two cents on whatever is on my mind. I may not be right, I may not have a clue. It may just be pointless babble. But it's just my two cents.

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TWO PENNIES' ARCHIVES
The Fairfield Incident 

August 9th, 2008
FAIRFIELD, CA-  First time in this part of Cali. Fairfield is a nice little spot nestled between Oakland and Sacramento. Aside from the relentless wind that made shooting a video blog next to impossible, I had a good time.
Met a few people that I could've done without though.

Sometimes I wish black people that support Barak Obama in what I consider to be an "ignorant" manner would shut the hell up.

Anytime I meet people that are obnoxiously fanatic about anything I instantly have a hatred of whatever it is they like.

This includes Barak Obama.

You ever meet the asshole vegetarian who constantly reminds you why they're better than you?  Any group of people that have an elitist mentality I don't want to associate myself with.

The Chicago Cubs stand poised to make the playoffs this year and I really want to go to a few games but the thought of standing next to drunken psycho Cubs fans showing off their Sammy Sosa & Andre Dawson Tattoos for 3-hours is making me want to just go to a sports bar to watch the games instead.

I couldn’t even enjoy the Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett winning an NBA Championship because of my hatred for the Boston Celtics.

I don’t have a favorite NBA team. I’m a casual fan of the Charlotte Bobcats, but I couldn’t name their starting 5 if you asked me to. I don’t know the name of their head coach, and I don’t know who they took in the NBA Draft this year. But I do know that I hate the Celtics, and it has nothing to do with their performance on the court.

 I went on a film audition a few months back. The audition itself went pretty well so I made a little small talk as I was leaving. I noticed that the director casting the film had on a Boston Celtics        T-Shirt. At the time, the Celtics weren’t playing well, they'd lost like 3-4 games in a row so I made a friendly jab about it and the dude got all puffy-chested with me.  The mood in the room instantly went to shit.

 ME:  Looks like Boston's having a little trouble this year. Hope it doesn't carry over to the playoffs.

MOVIE DUDE: Where are you from Roy?

 ME:  Birmingham.

 MOVIE DUDE:     Hmmm and how many NBA Championships has your city won?

 ME:  We Don’t have an NBA Team.

 MOVIE DUDE:  exactly.  Thanks Roy.

I didn't call back from that audition...I wonder why.

 Now up until this point I had no opinion of the Boston Celtics. They were just another NBA team that I didn't care about. But after that film audition I wished nothing but losses for the Boston Celtics.

It's like the people who don't watch baseball but they hate the New York Yankees.

 I’m happy for K.G., Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce but part of me wishes they could’ve gotten their rings in another city because I know somewhere that asshole movie director is smiling.

And that sickens me.

So I’m on stage here in Fairfield. and this table of black people wouldn’t shut the hell up. I started talking about Obama’s policies on steroids (*I have no idea what they are. I was merely speculating*) Just the mention of this man’s name on stage sent these drunken turds into a pro-Barak frenzy while I was on stage.

  “MAN! OBAMA’S MY MUHHHFUCKA!!!”  One Man Screamed out.

 Most comics would’ve gotten pissed and had the people thrown out so I decide to try and make lemons with lemonade and have a friendly back and forth exchange with the drunkards.

 These people weren’t hecklers. They were just talking too much amongst themselves. So for me, the strategy on stage is..

1) If someone is going to talk. Get them to talk to me.

 2) Build enough repoire with the group to be able to tell them “be quiet” while not losing their respect.

Somewhere between step 1 and step 2 I lost control of the table. While talking to 2 people at the table, the other 8 broke off back into their own side convos. This pissed off people at surrounding tables. Some of whom walked out of the show. All of Whom I'm sure won't ever come see me again or even worse live comedy.

In attempting to make one table watch the show,  I created droves of people that were no longer interested in the show. I apologize to those of you in attendance who saw this crap. It’s not something that’ll ever happen again nor is it indicative of the type of comedy show you should expect from me.

Never sacrifice the people who WANT to see comedy for people who've already proven to you that they don't.

So After the show, some of these same disruptive people came over to my CD table to remind me that. ”OBAMA IS THEIR MUHHHFUCKA”

 I recognize what Obama is trying to do on his march towards history, but at that particular moment in time, Obama was no different to me than the Boston Celtics. An intangible entity with drunken followers who were annoying as hell.

My Muhhfucka
 They (*the powers that be*)  Have nothing on Obama, so they are constantly trying to give America a reason not to like this man. This includes the type of people that follow him. I recognize that Obama is probably going to bring out droves of black people that Haven’t voted since the Clinton Administration, but what have we gain in inspiring new voters  if we scare off people not too sure on voting for him just yet?

IF every black person in America voted for Obama that still only 11% of the national population. It’s going to take more than the black vote to get Obama in the White House.

 I hope Obama wins. I truly do. But if I were a white person at that comedy show and I was still on the bubble about how to vote and saw a gang of drunk black people saying….”OBAMA IS MY MUHHHFUCKA!”…I’d probably vote for McCain.

Wood, Jr.

P.S.- Baraka Obama also need to endorse one “official” T-Shirt because I’m sick of all the bootleg shirts that are floating around.