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May 22, 2008

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LOS ANGELES, CA- So I get this picture e-mailed to me last week.....

About 20 times to be exact. The above picture is of one Marion "Suge" Knight laid out on the concrete after an altercation at a Los Angeles night club. Here’s TMZ.COM's Version of what happened. 

Suge’s past has been peppered with numerous conflicts with people in and outside of the record industry. He allegedly hung Vanilla Ice over a hotel balcony because of a contract dispute. During his time as CEO of Death Row Records, Suge oversaw the careers of Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Tupac Shakur and allegedly stole money from them and other artists on the label.

Some even go so far as to say that he orchestrated the murder of the Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac. His ties to the L.A. ‘Bloods’ gang is also well documented.

     It’s because of these past wrong doings that many people are celebrating what happened to Suge. If you watch the MySpace Version of the TMZ.com story you can read all the comments people have left. Thousands of people saying stuff like…
 

"Take out the leader and then the whole empire falls thats what your punk ass gets for being a bully."

"Theres always someone bigger and tougher. im glad he got put in his place."

"FU*K SUGE KNIGHT!!!!"

"Suge is a fat ass"

"Bout time somebody dealt wit him."

"ITS ABOUT TIME !!! BIG TYME PROPS 2 THE DUDE THAT LAYED HIS FAT ASS OUT !! "

 Why the hell are folks celebrating? I haven’t seen people partying in the streets like this since the Luke Skywalker and the gang took out the Deathstar  What the fu*k are you celebrating?

 Unless you’re a Crip or a former artist on Death Row Records, Suge Knight’s probably done nothing that’s ever directly affected your life.

Has Suge Knight oppressed you personally? Did he come to your shit job and Debo your stapler?  Huh?  Did he write you up for being late to Jiffy Lube and make you work late on Fridays?

“This is bullshit man, Suge know I’m supposed to be off by 5. It’s 6:15 and he talkin bout we gone be here all night.”

 Was Suge Knight your manager at Baskin-Robbins? Did he refuse to let you out of that one Saturday shift so that you could go to prom? Probably not. If you have no real reason to carry around contempt for this man, then how can you be happy when he gets knocked to the ground?

 I’m not sure if any of you know this or not but um…. Suge Knight could still kick YOUR ass.

All of these people on the internet yapping about Suge are simply verbalizing some sort of inner fear for a person in their past that they never stood up to. Suge knight represents every one that’s ever done them wrong and this incident offers them some sort of false vindication because they’re too scared to go and face their true tormentor from the past.

 Suge Knight  is a tangible manifestation of your inner coward.

 “I’m glad someone finally gave him what he deserved.” Said some MySpace turd.

 What this Comment really says is…

 “I’m glad someone finally stood up to a person bullying them, because I didn’t have the courage to stand-up to the dude that bullied me back in the day and rather than use this incident as inspiration to challenge someone who bullies me, I will simply cherish in this victory as if it were my own.”

Mike Tyson's lost 6 fights in his career and he's a bit of an asshole too.  I don't see people lining up around the block to fight him.

It’s not like Suge was knocked out by some trained martial arts expert. The guy didn’t get up off the ground and do some Jet Li’  ‘Lethal Weapon 4’ type shit. 

He got up and took a drunken lunge at the man.  

 Need proof? Look at the Facts.

   The dude that hit Suge had just been monkey stomped by Suge and his boys just minutes earlier. Have you ever been monkey stomped? After you get Monkey stomped, you aren’t thinking clearly.

You’ve been on the ground getting repeatedly kicked in the head.

When you finally come to your feet no way you’re in your right mind. Chances are the dude had been drinking as well. So I seriously doubt his punch was some sort of calculated blow. Need more proof that this man STILL isn't right in the head? Here's video of "Greg the Barber" AFTER the incident talking trash in his barber shop....

First of all. If my barber punched Suge Knight in the face... he's not my barber anymore. This man has a target on his back. What happens when Suge boy's come in and kill this man and I catch a stray bullet?  Worse, what if they kill the barber while he's in the middle of my haircut. Now I'm walking 'round wit an incomplete fade.

The truly funny part of this story is that the people of Los Angeles are parading Greg 'The Barber' around L.A. like he’s rocky Balboa after he beat Clubber Lang.

 The dude got up off the ground and landed one lucky punch. Now, does the man get points for having the courage to swing on a man twice his size? Of course he does. Standard procedure for the victim of a monkey stomping is to get up and go home. For this man to get up and go look for his attackers is admirable.

But my question is,  If this Greg the Barber was such a bad ass then , HOW DID HE GET MONKEY STOMPED IN THE FIRST PLACE?  And why stop at Suge? If I got Monkey Stomped by 4 people and I knock out one, then I still have three more people to knock out. If he’s truly “got that glow” like Bruce Leroy then it seems to me that he’d be walking up and down the street just punching people.

 It doesnt matter what I say, this dude will be lauded as a hero of the hood, Much like Ice Cube when he knocked out Debo in ‘Friday’. I hope he’s got good life insurance though, because I’m willing to bet money that Suge is going to want a rematch.  Some casinos in Vegas have already thrown around the possibility of a sanctioned fight between the two.

 My point being, people settle down. Suge Knight getting knocked out isn’t as game-changing as you think. He got knocked-out. People will laugh at it for a week or two and then some new internet video will come up and we’ll turn our attention to that.

 Bottom line, your job still sucks, your house note is 2 months past due, the check engine light in your car just came on, and that tingling feeling when you urinate still won’t go away…Suge Knight getting knocked out has done nothing to change your life, it’s still the same. And he could still kick YOUR ass.

...and mine.

Wood, Jr.