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| Some call it a blog, that's fine by me. The restriction of opinions on morning radio have banished me to my own website to give you my two cents on whatever is on my mind. I may not be right, I may not have a clue. It may just be pointless babble. But it's just my two cents.
Scroll down for some recent blogs. Click the link to go into the archives. |
| TWO PENNIES' ARCHIVES |
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Equilibrium 9 March 19, 2008 |
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VALLEY CITY, ND- Before you
ask, it’s 26 degrees below
zero… at 2 in the afternoon.
The picture you see is the
only time I got out the car
before reaching the hotel.
I was smiling at the beginning of this picture, but by the time the self-timer went off I could no longer feel my face. I hate when I stupid song gets stuck in my head. Right now it’s the intro song Will Ferrell’s character was singing at the beginning of “Semi-Pro’. |
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You don’t need to see the
movie to get the song. It’s
just a silly song with silly
lyrics. Swing by my buddy
Jay Phillips Myspace page to
listen to it. The song
autostarts. If you scoll
down there’s the video of
Will Ferrell performing the
song.
“Take off your shoes and suck me seeeexxxxyyyyyy (suck-suck-suck me sexy) ” But I indigestion. The problem with stupid songs like this is that they get stuck in your head at the worst time possible. |
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Perfect example. About a
month ago I was at this
Sleep center getting checked
for sleep apnea.
Someone I’d dated in the past suggested I get checked for it because they felt my snoring was abnormal. I looked at some of the symptoms for sleep apnea and I had about half of them so I figured it was enough to go and get it checked out. |
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So here I am in this chair
with this breathing
apparatus in my mouth and a
song pops into my damn head.
I’m laughing so hard the
chick can’t even administer
the test. The pic on the
left denotes my normal
breathing pattern. On the
right you'll see the blue
"spike" in my breathing.
this is where I burst into
laughter.
Don’t get me wrong. Positive songs get stuck in my head too. There’s a few jazz tunes from Herbie Hancock that I listen to when I get into my Jazz / Classical Music mood on the road. It’s usually followed by a little Boston Philharmonic, John Williams Orchestra, and some Yanni. Kudos to Herbie Hancock for winning album of the year at the 2008 Grammy Awards. Along with Comedy and Gospel Music, Jazz is the music industry’s stepchild. These three genres are always the lowest in sales because so much of their purchases are based on people being a fan of the artist and not one song in particular. |
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The average music buyer
didn’t give a shit about
Rihanna’s entire album. They
laid down $10 to hear
‘Umbrella’ on repeat. Now if
the rest of the album is
good, cool but most people
that purchase pop music
aren’t concerned with the
overall quality of the
album.
It was one or two songs that inspired the purchase of the album. Not the overall creative stature of the artist. |
| This is why there’s little to no advertising is done for Jazz or Comedy. Did Herbie Hancock have a full page ad in ‘The Source’ before his album came out? When’s the last time you saw a full page ad for the new gospel album from the Mississippi Mass Choir? | |
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My friend (* and hilarious
*) Todd Barry just released
his new comedy CD this week.
I seriously doubt his record
label gave him money to
shoot a video to boost album
sales.
He’ll get a good month of push from Myspace and various websites and maybe a few commercials, after that you’ll hear nothing of it. It’s exactly the opposite in Hip-Hop and Country. |
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Did you really think people
went out to buy Soulja Boy’s
album in anticipation of a
quality album from end to
end? Or did they buy it
simply because they wanted
to "Crank That"? I doubt
it.
But I Digestive System. |
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This is why Herbie
Hancock’s Grammy was such a
shock to everyone. Album of
the Year usually goes to an
album that has both
commercial success and
critical success.
Though respected in his genre, Hancock had never released an album that sold more than 20,000 Copies in its first week. Kanye West’s Album ‘The Graduation’ did almost a million copies first week. Amy Winhouse did half a million. But he won. And for that my friends… there must be Equilibrium. |
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According to dictionary.com,
equilibrium is defined as… 1. a state of rest or balance due to the equal action of opposing forces. 2. equal balance between any powers, influences, etc.; equality of effect. Jazz is a genre of music where the simple beat of a high hat can get stuck in your head and that itch can only be scratched by listening to that specific tune. Once you’re addictied to the beat, you have to listen to the song to get it out of your head. Unfortunately, the same thing can be said about the video below... Now before you watch this, let me first give you a disclaimer. This video has RAMPANT use of the N-Word. Though it’s not a word I use in my act, I still find this word to be moderately amusing in certain situations. This is one of them. If the N-Word offends you. Leave now. No hard feelings. See ya next blog. . . . . . . . . . Still here? Cool. Let me set it up for you. For those of you not familiar with all the ins and outs of black culture the term, “Looking Ass Nigga” is an insult. It’s like playing the dozens. Here’s how it goes, You think of an insult about a person, and then you say the insult and follow it with the phrase, “Looking ass nigga”. For example, an insult one could spit at Michael Jackson would be a “Ol Chimp Loving Single White Female Looking ass Nigga” Get it? Well the following video is a 3 minute freestyle of these insults by some Chicago rappers. The beat is stupid. The Song is stupid but I can’t get this shit out of my head to save my life. Click the link if you can't see the embedded video.
The funniest one to me is the… “I knoooowwwww you wanna leave me. Ol David Ruffin Lookin ass nigga!” |
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And this is what I kept saying to myself in the sleep apnea center. The doctor came in and was trying to explain to me all this stuff on this flow chart and all I could think about was this damn song. “Mr. Wood. You don’t appear to have apnea. Your snoring is probably related to poor sleep posture or weigh gain, I’d like to get you back in here for a sleep study and..” |
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All I could say to myself was “Snoring in ya sleep then droolin lookin ass nigga” This went on for 10 minutes until I could finally gather myself. But this isn’t the equilibrium… The equilibrium is THIS Video. The only thing funnier than this video. Is two bored as chicks in their dorm room dancing to the previous clip.
Their Dorm room is junky as hell. Their clothes don’t match. What made me paralyzed with laughter are the insults people hurled at these chicks in the comment’s section of this video. When you see it Please scroll down and read some of them. Here’s a few of the gems I found… hope u slip and fall lookin ass nigga rats living in ur dorm room lookin ass nigga, im in college and i have no life lookin as nigga, im in college and im not popular lookin ass nigga, i dont have no man looking as nigga, where is my mom to clean my room lookin as nigga Last sunday church stockin wearin ass nigga I HOPE THATS DIET SODA LOOKIN ASS NIGGAChris Rock said it best… “I feel sorry for the men who have to pick a wife out of this bunch.” Wood, Jr. |
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