March 4, 2008

CHICAGO- Okay. So I know some of you may or may not have noticed that a blog I typed recently is no longer posted.  The one about the turds

      This is because the chick in the photo CONTACTED ME!   Well not the chick herself but one of her best friends. The actual chick was too “emotionally distraught” and crying and such.

I post my AOL and Yahoo screennames on my website and myspace page in an effort to be more accessible to people who’re just as bored as I am at 3:30am.

I’ve always had a thing for chatting with strangers. It’s fun for the most part until they start breaking the rules.

  (*i.e. people who demand that you reply to their instant message in 30 seconds or less. It’s a computer not a telephone I’ll reply when I get done doing some other shit on my computer*)

 (* i.e.- men who invite me to watch their webcam. Even if there’s no nudity involved….a man shouldn’t be watching another man on webcam. PERIOD*)

But I digest.

So Jill J McSkidmark’s representative went on to explain to me who she was and all of that blah blah blah. Of course I doubted her but then she sent me like 5-6 pics of herself

      Turns out when I posted the blog on my full website, someone forwarded her father my blog and he went off on her.

 Ironically I found it funny that her father was mad at her about being on the internet in a mis matched bikini and wasn’t upset about her taking a shit without wiping her ass. A far more tragic offense for a woman who claims to be 18 years old.

She didn’t mention if her dad was mad about her not wiping her ass.

 Maybe he doesn’t wipe his ass.

 Maybe it’s a family thing.

But I digestive track.

   I explained to the young lady that me taking down my blog wasn’t going to stop her from being all over the internet. As I was e-mailed the pictured from someone who doesn’t even have a myspace page. I wouldn’t be surprised if the girl isn’t already up on hotghettomess.com.

 But since I’m the only person involved in this matter who is accessible her people reached out to me first.  Here’s a taste of the chat room convo we had…

        htywdy101: :  Hey is this roy Wood Jr the Comedian?
RoyWoodJr: Yeah. What can I do for you?

htywdy101:  HEY I HAVE A QUESTION
htywdy101: :  THE GIRL ON YOUR WEBSITE THAT HAS THE CRAP IN THE TOILET PLEAAASSSEEE TAKE THAT OFF BECAUSE SHE DELETED HER PAGE BECAUSE OF THIS AND SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND AND IS CRYING RIGHT NOW IN MY ROOM WILL YOU PLEEAAASSSEE TAKE IT OFF
RoyWoodJr:  I'm sorry who is this?
RoyWoodJr:  does she have a new Myspace page?
htywdy101: :  THIS IS ERYKAH

htywdy101:  NO SHE DELETED IT WHEN PEOPLE SENT HER YOUR WEBSITE
htywdy101:  HER MOTHER IS REALLY UPSET WITH HER AND WONT TALK TO HER UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT DOWN PLEASE
htywdy101:   SHE IS SO EMBARRASED SHE WONT SAY ANYTHING TO ME ABOUT IT

RoyWoodJr:  mmmmmkay.  well with all due respect. I'll gladly take the pic(s) down but I need some sort of verification that you indeed know her. The pic was forwarded to me from someone else so I hate to break it to you but the pic is all over the internet and me taking the pic down probably wont solve her problems of internet embarrassment. 

RoyWoodJr:  now here's what I need from you....
RoyWoodJr:  I'm not going to post the pic, but do you happen to have another pic of this young lady to prove that this is indeed her friend that I'm talking to? Surely the pic of her and the turd isn’t the only pic of her online.
htywdy101:  YES HOLD ON WE TOOK PISTURES TOGETHER
htywdy101: :  HOLD ON I"LL SEND YOU A PICTURE OF HER BY HERSELF
htywdy101:  OKAY GET ON YAHOO I REQUESTED YOU SO I CAN SEND THEM TO YOU ON THERE
 

RoyWoodJr:  what's your yahoo name?

htywdy101:  FUxxKYOUBiSSH:

 NOTE:   So then our conversation moves over to Yahoo. By the way, she has to have one of the most HILARIOUS yahoo names that I’ve seen in a while. I know that legally I probably could’ve stood my ground had I blacked out her face but if people that close in her social circle still knew that someone was out there making fun of her then it’s gotta suck  to be that young lady.

 but I digestive tract.

If Skidmark was in fact in her best friend’s bedroom crying and her daddy wont talk to her I think she got the message…

 ‘FLUSH THE TOILET BEFORE TAKING PICTURES OF YOURSELF ON THE INTERNET’

 I wish the young lady nothing but the best in life and I’m sure a year from now she’ll be able to look back on this and laugh.  Imagine the irony, Every other blog that I’ve written about the dumb people that I’ve seen on the internet I’ve actually reached out to have a dialogue with these people.

 Remember Reh Dogg?  I added him as a myspace friend and everything.

 Remember the blog about the cussin Reverend "Spirit of Truth"? I’ve actually talked to him he’s a real person.

 I swapped comments with “Soopa Hip Hop Kung Fu’. I reached out to him AFTER writing the blog making fun on him dancing in the parking lot of a Jack in The Box.

 So imagine the irony in the one time I DON’T reach out to someone I’m making fun of…they fine me. The internet is a crazy place. 

And for the record, This in no way changes how I write future equilibrium blogs. I’m still going to go at people’s throats. I’m not giving out any more passes. I have a new Reh Dogg blog coming up soon and I DARE him to contact me on AOL

 Rehdogg491:   .Is This Roy Wood Jr the Comedian?

RoyWoodJr:  .Yeah who’s this?

Rehdogg491:   .It’s me Reh Dogg, the singer of the hit song. “Why Must I Cry”

RoyWoodJr:  .Yeah what’s up?

Rehdogg491:   .You made fun of me in my videos in your blogs. I don’t appreciate it. That wasn’t

nice of you. You aren’t a nice man. Please take down that blog

RoyWoodJr:  .Reh Dogg, You posted the videos of yourself  on the internet. You’re an idiot. And Idiots deserve to be exposed. For God’s sake you were on the BET Show ‘We Gots to do better’

Rehdogg491:   .Really? I was on BET?

RoyWoodJr:  .yep

Rehdogg491:   .I like ice cream.

RoyWoodJr:  .huh?

Rehdogg491:   .Blue panties

RoyWoodJr:  .Reh Dogg what the shit are you talking about man?  I’m not taking down the blog

Rehdogg491:   .Do you know Bruce Bruce?

RoyWoodJr:  .I’ve opened for him once or twice but I’d hesitate to say that I ‘know’ him.

Rehdogg491:   .would you like to open for me?

RoyWoodJr:  .Not sure if I have the time. I working on a pretty tight schedule this spring.

Rehdogg491:   .Maybe I can open up for you. Maybe you can have me come do ‘Why Must I Cry’ Live. I have a shower that I travel that they put on stage so that I can do the entire song from the shower.

RoyWoodJr:  .Reh, I don’t think most comedy clubs would allow that. Good luck on your hustle.

Rehdogg491:   I like ice cream.

Now if you’ll excuse me… I have a 9^th Equilibrium to finish writing.

Wood, Jr.