 |
| Some call it a blog, that's fine by me. The restriction of opinions on morning radio have banished me to my own website to give you my two cents on whatever is on my mind. I may not be right, I may not have a clue. It may just be pointless babble. But it's just my two cents.
Scroll down for some recent blogs. Click the link to go into the archives. |
| TWO PENNIES' ARCHIVES |
October 21, 2007
It’ll probably be a while before I ever work Jr’s Last Laugh (*The Main Comedy Club Here*) so performing at the local colleges is the only way I can work these regions.
The good thing about college shows is that I can ask the kiddies to translate slang in hip-hop songs that I don’t bother to decipher. There’s a song out called “Crank Dat” by Soulja boy where the rapper instructs us to “Superman Dat H-e”. I asked the kiddies what that meant…the answer is down right disgusting. Even more disappointing is that fact that Old people and Kids are running around singing this crap. Would you really want to know if your Granddad was running around "supermaning" women?
Unlike comedy clubs. Colleges go to great lengths to make you feel special The downside to colleges is that you’re sometimes in odd places for weeks at a time and sooner or later you have to find a Black Barber Shop. I try to ask local black people where they get their haircut but that conversation is never shorter than 15 minutes so Now my strategy is to simply cold call barber shops listed in the phone book.
By the way they answer the phone you can tell if it’s a white barber shop.
I called a few places and here’s what I got..
“Mr. Russo’s Barbershop this is Frank how can I help you?”
“Supercuts! This is Melody! What kind of style can we help you create?”
“Hershey Brothers Style Shop. Praise the Lord this is Kenneth.”
I hung up on all three of these places. Clearly they were white. It took about 8 phone for me to get what I was looking for.
I called a place and the dude who answered the phone simply said..
“Wussupwitit?”
I thought I had the wrong number. I stuttered back.. “Um..ah.. um.. is this the barber shop”
DUDE: “Yeah Maine! Wussup wit it?”
ME: “Ahhh What time ya’ll close? I’m trying to get down there around 6”
DUDE: “Sheeeiiiit man Knucklehead be here ‘til 8. Come down here holler at Knucklehead.”
CLICK!
The dude hung up in my face. He didn’t’ tell me his name. He didn’t wait for a follow-up question. He didn’t tell me thanks for calling. He didn’t give thanks to God. After hearing all of this knew one thing…
Jackpot.
In more ways than one too. Not only had I found a black barber shop but I’d found a NICE Black Barbershop. It glistened with hardwood floors, fake palm trees, and flat screen TVs. Needless to say all this crap jacked up the price of a $12 fade to $18 before the tip.
But much like any nice restaurant you go to, in a barber shop like this you're paying for the presentation not the product. It was a nice change of pace from the usual 3 chair barber shops that have a table stacked with old jet magazines, the carpet still has stains in it from the civil rights movement, and the air smells like an old Al Sharpton perm.
One of the new things at the higher end black barbershops is for you to get a light shampoo before they cut your hair. I guess this is to clean out any oil, dandruff, or other random scalp crumbs before they cut your hair.
As I rest my head in the shampoo bowl I start up a chit chat with the shampoo chick about football and other manly shit. I glance to the left and I saw something that I thought I’d NEVER see in my life…a thug getting wearing an exfoliating cucumber facial mask.
Look closely at the picture to the left. Do you see what is sitting next to me?
Yes ladies and gentlemen... it's a thug getting a facial.
I’m not hating on another man trying to keep his skin clean and all that stuff. But If you saw the look of “Thuggery” this man had on his face you'd be laughing too. I had to get a better show of this man Mean-mugging while exfoliating his skin.
The following picture I’m about to show you could get me killed….
NOTICE: if you’re getting a cucumber facial.. TURN YOUR THUG OFF! You can’t be hard w/ a cucumber facial mask on.
If any of you in Erie, PA know this man please don’t tell him I posted this picture. I don’t want to die. Simply tell him that I said to cut his thug off while clearing up his pores. But then again should I really be scared of him? Real thugs don’t get facials.
Wood, Jr.