DAMN ROY I’M TIRED OF STUPID GUYS COMING ON TO ME. WHY DO DUMB GUYS KEEP FLIRTING WITH ME?”
Women always ask men this question from time to time. I didn’t have an answer to this question until I saw an episode of Sanford and Son on TV Land. Ladies you know why loser ass men keep speaking to you? The answer is simple… Lamont Sanford. He’s our inspiration.
Lamont Sanford is my hero. He’s the hero of every man that has nothing substantial to offer a woman. No Matter What, Lamont Sanford had a woman. He KEPT A WOMAN. Regardless of his living situation.
We’re talking about a man who is in his late 30’s, who (a) runs a junk business with his father, (b) LIVES WITH HIS FATHER, (c) drives this RAGGEDY ASS TRUCK!!! (d) shares the same raggedy truck with his dad and on top of that… Lamont DIDN’T HAVE HIS OWN ROOM IN THE HOUSE.
Lamont Sanford slept in the same bed as his father. Not in a “gay molestation” kind of way, but in that southern “the house is overcrowded because of Thanksgiving Visitors so you have to sleep with your brother, Just lay a big pillow between the two of you to use as a penis barrier” kind of way.
These scenes were of course never shown because this show was shot in the 70’s. It wasn’t cool for a grown man to be in the bed with his father back then. Most husband and wives on TV back then slept in separate beds.
I know Lamont slept in bed with his father because HE NEVER TOOK THE WOMEN UPSTAIRS! In six seasons of Sanford and Son there was never a scene in Lamont’s bedroom. Lamont was always forced to set up some nice candle lit dinner in the living room and then try to kiss the girl on the couch. Of course at this point Fred Sanford would come down stairs and commence to blocking on his son. You think at some point Lamont would’ve been able to sneak a chick into his room and muffle the sounds of good sex by placing a blanket under his door.
Even worse, Lamont didn’t make enough money from the junk business to be able to afford a decent hotel room once a month. It was the 70’s hell a hotel room couldn’t have been more than $7-8 Dollars a night. $15 if you’re staying at a Hilton.
Theo Huxtable from ‘The Cosby Show’ had his own room, Roger from ‘What’s Happening’ had his own room, J.J. from ‘Good Times’ had his own room, Junior on ‘My Wife and Kids’ had his own room, hell even Brandy’s brother on ‘Moesha’ had his own room.
Lamont Sanford didn’t. Bud did he quit? No. Lamont Sanford kept spitting game to women and it worked. WOMEN KEPT COMING OVER!!!
A man in the year 2006 who slept with his dad, shared his truck, and tried to bang you on a love seat in the middle of the living room while his dad touches himself in the stairway WOULDN’T HAVE A CHANCE. Not only would she run out of the house, but she’d probably tell all her sorority sisters that your dad was upstairs watching you two make out. She’d probably go as far as to file some harassment charges or something.
Most men faced with these circumstances would quit trying to date… But not Lamont Sanford. Lamont Sanford never gave up. Tight polka-dot shirt…. He never gave up. Ridiculously tight suede Jacket… He never gave up. Let that be your inspiration men.
I used to have trouble approaching women, not anymore! Before you approach ANY WOMAN simply ask yourself… What Would Lamont Sanford Do? Don’t let your own shortcomings stop you from thinking that you have something to offer a woman… Even if you don’t.
Your life sucks! You know she doesn’t want you. You’ve got 8 kids you’re only paying child support on 4 of them, you’ve got 2 kids on the way, your car is shitty, you’ve got 18 gold teeth (*one of them turning green because it’s fake, you bought it at a pawn shop*), your double wide trailer has a leak in the bathroom but at least the leak is over the tub that way you can get a shower when it rains because you haven’t paid your water bill in 4 months.
Don’t get depressed about stuff like that. Simply Ask yourself…”What would Lamont Sanford Do?” Lamont Sanford would stick his chest out proudly, pop an Altoid in his mouth and walk over and introduce himself.
Because you know what you are right…your life DOES SUCK but it never stopped Lamont Sanford from trying to get laid…and it shouldn’t stop you.
(*Ki Ki Shepard Voice*) Lamont Sanford — the first documented ‘scrub’… Lamont Sanford, an Apollo Legend.
“It’s just my thoughts…right or wrong, just what I was feeling at the time.”
Roger from “What’s Happenin’ and J.J. from “Good Times” shared a room with their respective siblings. Both shows had scenes with each character in bed with either his sister (What’s Happenin’)or his brother (good Times), both shows eluded to the inability to bring a girl upstairs because they shared a room.