TOLEDO, OH – I’ve been called dysfunctional before. I don’t always communicate positive feelings in the usual, “You’re wonderful,” “You Brighten up my day” way. I’ve done that in the past but the norm for me is to say something nice while cracking a joke in the process.
When this person told me I was “dysfunctional” I was initially offended but then began to care less and less about the shit. If someone can’t figure me out it’s their problem not mine. I can slow down my actions and try to explain myself but that can only go so far. Eventually you have to just understand how another person communicates.
The person that called me crazy for using negativity to emote positive feelings eventually figured me out and quit being weirded-out by my communication style.
I now know from which parent I inherited this trait.
So I got a gift from my mom today. A “house warming gift”, even though I’ve been living in L.A. coming up on 9 months now. But better late than never right? She sent me 2 boxes of silverware. A 45 ct. box and a 20 ct. box. It’s nice too. It looks like the type of cutlery that you’d give a couple that’s getting married.
So inside the packaging was a card and it read:
“To my dearest son. Please allow me to help your home feel more like home since you’re away from home. Love, Mom”
I flip the card over and on the back it reads…
“Please consider this the first in a long line of house warming gifts to help you feel more comfortable in your new spot. When you open up this silver ware please do me a favor and throw away that cheap Wal-Mart shit you’re eating with. This silverware shouldn’t fraternize with cheap silverware. It is an insult to the quality of this silverware.
I guess I’ll have to get you some decent plates to eat on now that you have silverware that’s too nice for the plates you have.
Don’t open the 20 ct. pack of silver unless you have company over and you need the extra pieces. Since you’re in L.A. now I’m sure you’ll be having a lot more parties at your home but if your new apartment is anything like where you lived in Birmingham I’m sure you wont need it because you couldn’t fit more than 8 people in that spot. “
I was laughing so hard I couldn’t call my mom for 20 minutes to thank her.
It was cool seeing that card from her because it looked like something I’d say to someone while doing something nice for them. Made me feel a lot less dysfunctional.
Now that I’ve shaken that feeling… I can show you the next two videos in full confidence:
The first one is a clip that should be shown at ALL movie theatres. We’ve all gone to see a film and the movie theatre gives you a quick “Shut Up During the Movie” announcement. Well for those of you that went to see ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force: The Movie” you’ll remember this.
Even if you’ve never seen the Television show that this movie is based on you’ll get this intro. And let’s face it… a Pretzel playing a guitar is hilarious.
We all have one song at any given time that’s stuck in our head for no reason. For me is was ‘Rhianna- Umbrella’ for a while now that’s moved on into ‘ Boosie- Wipe Me Down’. If you’re not from the south and aren’t familiar with this song, this video might not be that funny to you, but hell if the Cupid Shuffle can make it all the way to L.A. there’s no telling what half of you listen to.
This video is clips of kids show ‘Dora the Explorer’ edited to fit Wipe Me Down. I don’t know who this DJ Umer dude is but he has way too much time on his hands. There’s a Rugrats verson to ‘Party Like a Rockstar’ as well as a ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ version of ‘This is Why I’m Hot.”
They’re all pretty funny but for some reason this Dora one had me laughing the hardest.
