A new day has arisen. Because now, I don’t care anymore.
There’s definitely something wrong with me. I learned this last week on South Beach. I was doing a few college shows down there so I managed to hook up with a few old buddies from college and we went out to run the streets after my show. They came bearing a gift: The 2008-09 Miami Dolphins Cheerleader Calendar.
Being that I’m a Dolphins fan this would seem like a pretty decent gift. Scantily-clad women dressed in the colors of your favorite football team smiling on the beach in corny, unrealistic poses should be every man’s dream. But for some reason I was disappointed.
Here’s what one of my usual calendar’s looks like.
[insert old school]
Now if you compare that to the Dolphins calendar you’ll notice… there’s no where on the calendar for me to write in my performance dates. Don’t get me wrong, the calendar is every easy on the eyes but it doesn’t serve me much of a practical use. If I wanted to see women in the water with odd looking mammals for the next 18-months I’d got buy Season 2 of ‘Flavor of Love.’
Nonetheless it was a good deed by my friends. Just troubles me that the first thing I looked at on this calendar was for space to write in my schedule instead of nipples and camel toes.
SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH ME
Here’s a few videos from around the net that have been stuck in my head. I know I’m wrong for finding this stuff funny but I can’t help myself. Here’s a good one:
She Got Booked
This dude hit this girl in the head with a book in a college Computer lab. The act itself is wrong, but to witness it is hilarious. What supposedly happened was, a young man was on a computer in a Library. He got up to do something and another girl sat down and began closing all of his applications. When he explained to the young lady that he was still using the terminal she refused to get up. Rather than take the matter to a Librarian the young man took matters into his own hands. I’m not advocating violence against women.
she got booked
†~Jùdè~†~ Â.k.à ~†~Jèffrè¥~† | Myspace Video
Trampoline Stunt
This Video explains why I love white people. And why Trampolines and Alcohol don’t mix.
Sealab: 2021
There’s this show that I’m hooked on called ‘Sealab 2021″ it’s another one of those none sensical shows that runs on Cartoon Network. Here’s a funny scene.
The Cleveland Steamer
I love The Bob & Tom Radio program. It’s great to be a part of the tour dates but I’m honestly a fan of some of the silly songs they did. The did one called, ‘The Cleveland Steamer’. If you don’t know what a ‘Cleveland Steamer’ is. All I can say is Google it.
If you REALLY want some fun then Google all the terms they refer to in this song. I don’t condone any of the sexual acts that are mentioned in this song. They’re all quite disgusting to me. However, I do find it hilarious when a man sings these sexual terms as if they’re actually romantic.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DO NOT Search these terms on a company computer that’s monitored by your boss. You will probably get flagged.
My personal Favorites… the “Change Machine” and “The Alabama Hot Pocket”. I’ve been living in Birmingham since the 2nd grand and I’ve never heard of that shit. The good thing about this song is that after looking up what some of this stuff meant and knowing that there’s people out there actually doing it….maybe there ISN’T anything wrong with me after all.
Enjoy peeps.
