Ask Clyde

Q: Dear Clyde:

I have a problem with morning breath. Is there any way I can get rid of it? MORNING BREUF

A:

Quit Eating Coochie before you go to bed. CLYDE.

Q: Dear Clyde:

About a year and a half ago, I got both of my nipples pierced. Not thinking about my allergies to surgical steel posts in my ears, I got my nipples pierced with surgical steel rings, which i assume are standard. My nipples never healed correctly, so i removed the rings, and have gone without them for over a year now. In my right nipple, i have a thick white discharge coming out of where the ring was removed. Any idea of what this discharge may be, and if i should worry about it? AFRAID OF DOCTORS – HOUSTON, TX

A:

Now if you knew that you were alergic to stainless steel, then why would you get Steel Nipple piercings? You’re like that person who’s alergic to shrimp but continues to eat them. I’m sorry that this discharge is coming out your nipples but you deserve it. I hope one of your breasts swells up and gets infected, You deserve it. More importanlty you need to explain to your boyfriend what’s happening to your breasts because I’d hate for him to be playing with your nipples thinking your arousal is the reason for your “drip drip drip”. And since you haven’t gone to a doctor by now then hey, why go now. Just keep putting neosporin on the nipple and maybe it’ll go away. CLYDE.

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    Named by Entertainment Weekly as one of 12 comics to watch in 2009, Roy has been featured on the new season of CBS' THE LATE SHOW w/ David Letterman, HBO's DEF COMEDY JAM, TV One's 'The Funny Spot w/ Tony Rock', BBC's THE WORLD STANDS UP- LONDON, , CBS' LATE LATE SHOW w/ Craig Ferguson, NBC's Last Comic Standing, and Comedy Central's BOB & TOM COMEDY TOUR... Read full bio.
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